Carpe Diem

Travels

2009-12-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

So the next few months are full of non-wedding excitement as well. Lots of travelling for the next year which is incredibly exciting.

My contract ends in February and Rod and I will be in the US for a month. We will vacation in San Francisco, Las Vegas, and NYC, and then see family and friends in Colorado, New Mexico, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. It will be Rod's first time to most of the places, and it will be my first chance to introduce my fiance to everyone so we are thrilled. Of course a week of partying like rockstars in Vegas doesn't hurt either. :)

In the last few days we have both been offered positions in Odessa, Ukraine. We have talked this over and are hoping to settle the details this week and arrive in Odessa in March. Neither of us has ever been to Ukraine, but we are anxious for a new adventure.

Right now we are still trying to work out the details, but it looks like we will be there for about one year before heading back to the US for the wedding and then on to the honeymoon in Brazil and Peru. (We really like to travel)

Well that is all the updates for now.

XOXO

Engagement Dinner

2009-12-27T16:35:00.002+08:00

So the official engagement party is in Colorado in February, but we had a small dinner party with friends in Suzhou to celebrate as well. I have no idea who had the camera all night, but all the pictures are just Rod and I. Love and thanks to all who attended!

XOXO

Wedding!

2009-12-27T16:14:00.002+08:00

Soooo...for anyone I haven't told yet. I am getting married! We are super excited and I am already planning. I picked out my dress a few weeks ago and it will be ready in mid-January, I am so thrilled! We are both just over the moon and have had incredible support from our friends and family. We haven't set the date yet as we will be looking at locations in February. If you want to know more you can check out our wedding website at

http://tools.brides.com/weddingwebsite/rodneyandelizabeth

More details coming soon!

XOXO

Fucking Firewalls

2009-12-27T16:06:00.002+08:00

Ok so let me say first of all that I am so ready to leave China...for so many reasons. At the moment however, the absolute number 1 reason is this firewall bullshit. I am so tired of not being able to use facebook, blogs, read half the world's news etc. It is just such complete and utter bullshit. Regardless of the government's "official" reasons for censoring their own people, at the end of the day all they have done is cause massive inconvenience. The young population is tech-savy enough to work around the firewall, and the older population is brainwashed enough with their political propoganda to actually believe the firewall is in their best intrest. Fuckery I tell you, fuckery.

Anyway, that's the reason I have been sans blogging the last few months. That and well frankly I have just had better things to do with my time.

But as with most things I have decided to try this again, as a way to keep up with all the new stuff going on...

Ressurection

2009-08-01T15:14:00.003+08:00

I can't remember the last time I opened this website. I suppose with the whirlwind of the past few months I have drifted out of touch in more ways than one.

I'll attempt at this juncture to resurrect a blog which has for some time now been barely clinging to life.

I turned 25 a few months ago, and since then I seem to have been facing some sort of epic juncture at which decisions must be made. My future and all that horseshit. I suppose I am just growing tired of this meaningless stagnation which seems to consume my time in the middle kingdom.

So...changes abound. I have fallen in love...yeah for anyone that knows me personally take a moment and let that sit. It's sorta like a knife in the gut. Well it has been for me at least. This whole romantic notion of finding love in a faraway country and then spending endless hours discussing our future and how we will make things work regardless of obstacles in geography, age, employment, etc. It all just makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit. In my defense though, the past few years I have been a one woman show, and a damn good one. It's a big adjustment for me to encounter. All in all though, I'm not completely hating it. At least not all the time. He's a pretty amazing guy which also helps.

Along with the budding romance the summer has brought so many changes. People leaving, or changing for the worse so the fact that they are still here is meaningless, new faces, new places, and a new found appreciation for those people in my life that I maybe haven't always given the proper credit to.

I suppose all in all this is shaping up to be the summer I finally do some growing up. I suppose in some ways I have done it already, but now is a good time to catch up those aspects of my life where maturity is lagging. Of course this maturity still comes with a bottle of Jack, promiscuous sex (with my boyfriend and anyone else we may agree on), and dancing on bars till the wee hours of the morning...I mean growing up doesn't have to be boring...right??

Ciao

Catching up,..

2009-03-01T20:19:00.002+08:00

So I am pretty terrible at this whole blogging thing. Seeing as my day no longer involves coutless hours at the computer I have been finding it difficult to sit down and write anything of value lately.

I am continuing to not write anything of value with this post, however I am taking time out of my day to share it.

Many things have been happening, good, bad, ugly, a bit of everything all rolled up in seemingly endless rainy weather with a chaser of Jack Daniels.

I have been pondering leaving China. I suppose I do this about once every 3 months, but this time I actually sought out some new jobs, made some plans, felt like I was almost committed to change. Of course I am not going anywhere. I am actually about to sign a new lease which will mean one more year in this concrete jungle, taking in all the sights, sounds and occurrence that have lost their novel appeal and now just annoy me.

I have discovered that all the little idiosyncrasies I once found a bit charming about this place now just bore and sometimes disgust me. The complete absence of traffic laws, people pulling over to take a dump on the side of the road. I'm all for being culturally sensitive but I firmly believe such sensitivites should draw the line on behavior which could endanger others.

Anyway I'm frusterated...but I suppose it keeps me cynical.

I've been working more, doing lots of odd jobs which means a crazy schedule. I rather like not having the 9-5 thing though, its wonderful to never have anything scheduled before noon. I have a sense of freedom now which has been glaringly absent in recent years.

Anyway I can't think of much more to say at the moment. life is going ok, been rather bored these few weeks as the weather has me holed up inside. Hopefully some sunshine will bless China with its presence in the near future and I will consider leaving the house.

Oh, and we got a fucking Burger King. I feel like this is progress. Maybe traffic laws will follow...but probably not.

Ciao

2008-12-13T09:22:00.002+08:00

So it has actually been two months since I updated this thing, and to be quite honest I really could care less. I have been super busy for the last like month and if you combine that with all the drinking it puts me back about 2 months.

Anyfuckery... back to blogging.

So a lot is going on. I came back to China last month. I feel like I say that at least 4 times a year lately. It's like I keep trying to leave and then I just end up back in this shitstorm, I'll probably still be here when I'm 30. That is terrifying.

I am working a lot now though, which is good since i have quite the expensive lifestyle. I started a new part time marketing job for Join In Media, and I am teaching mad hours as well. It kind of means I work all the time, but let's face it there really isn't much else to do around here.

My bestie leaves for America today which makes me sad. She is moving in with her boyfriend which makes me want to throw up in my mouth a bit too.

Well that's it for updtes time to tech and then I'm off to a Christmas ball. Yeah I have a rough life..

Xoxo

Leaving on a jetplane

2008-10-24T22:30:00.005+08:00

Well I left for my US trip on the 16th and I had quite an interesting 36 hours in between Shanghai and Bozeman. The first was of course, the Chinese lady on the airplane with me. This woman who was caddy-corner from me was standing up and removing and replacing stuff from the overhead compartments for pretty much the entire journey. Well as the flight neared our destination the flight attendent informed the woman that she needed to put her bags in the overhead compartment and not on the seat beside her. Then 10 minutes later another person told her, in English and Chinese. Still 10 minutes later another flight attendent came by and discovered that the woman had, instead of putting the items away, set them in an empty seat and covered them with a blanket to hide them from the flight attendents. Seriously, and this woman was pissed when she finally had to stand up and place them in the overhead compartment.

In other excitment I enjoyed some delicious Taco Bell in the Denver airport, and some amazing bloody marys in San Fran. Damn I miss America.

I finally made it to Montana with my Mom and surprised my little brother which was awesome. So I suppose all the travel was worth it.

Bye bye job

2008-10-24T22:26:00.002+08:00

Well my oh my I have sure taken my time in updating this thing, so much has happened and I have just not had a moment to sit and type lately. I suppose I should start where I left off and then work my way to the present day.

Well the first big news is, I am now unemployed. I was told about a week and a half ago that they were eliminating the marketing department at Dextrys since there is nothing for us to do during these times of economic crisis. (Thank you Mr. Bush and everyone who signed the bailout plan).

So anybrokeass, I am now unemployed. I am teaching part time, and took on some more hours but that is obviously not a permanent solution. Hopefully I find a job soon, but it may mean leaving China, so I am anticipating change in the next few months.

Moving on up..Chinese style

2008-10-06T13:53:00.002+08:00

So I moved yesterday. As someone who has lived in 3 countries and 4 cities in the last two years, I am fairly skilled in this department. So yesterday I woke up early and finished packing, only to discover that I own wayyyy to much stuff. Anyway my ayi and I packed everything and a friend came to translate. So the three of us and the driver of a small 3 wheeled truck apparatus carried about half of my belongings down the stairs, loaded them up and then caravaned down the road on the bike lane until we reached my new apartment. We moved everything in and went back for the second load.

We finished the second load and attempted to exit the compound only to be greeted by guards. The guards informed me that I could not move out because I needed the signed release from the landlord. However, the signed release is given after the final utilities are paid and the empty house is checked out for damages...the empty house. So we explained to them that I wanted to drop my stuff off and was going to then do the checkout, no dice.. They directed me to an office where I was informed that since the final water bill (which ended up being 158) had not been calculated the only way I could leave would be to pay 2800 as a deposit and then come back. In the end I agreed to stay and the maid and driver took everything to the new house and moved me in. Thank God for domestic help.

Three hours later the whole thing was resolved and I was unpacking and grocery shopping with my new roomie. An exhausting day overall, and in the grand tradition on China, insanely more complicated than it needed to be.

Back to work

2008-10-06T13:48:00.002+08:00

Well it has been a while since I updated this and quite frankly I haven't missed it. I have instead been throughly enjoying my week off. Here's a basic breakdown of what I did this week:

Shopping
Going to restaurants with friends
Bar hopping
Facials, massages, manis, pedis, pampering
Sleeping
Sexy times

Yeah it was pretty much as awesome week pretty much the same as all my other weeks, but no working in between.

So anyway today I am back in the office, wishing I wasn't, and exhausted from yesterday as it was incredibly long. Ten more days till my next vacation though, so I think I'll live.

Ciao

Updates

2008-09-28T12:06:00.002+08:00

Well it has been a crazy few days...and not in a good way.

Three days ago I was getting ready for work in the morning and the power went off. Turns out my landlord who had told me he would pay it and then charge me, had never paid the bill, so the electric company shut it off. No one came to my door, no one gave me a bill, nothing.

Well I stayed with friends and it is sorted now but it was a pain in the ass.

The good news out of all of this is that I am moving now. I am moving into a friend's place that I am absolutely in love with, it's gorgeous, bat free, and has electricity, which pretty much makes it real estate nirvana at this point.

So now I have to move before the 6th, but my friend is not moving out till later in October so I have to pack to move, pack for my trip, and try to get it all sorted in the next week. Not a ton of fun, but since I don't work this week it's doable and I think worth it because I will be able to be completely settled in and all by early November which is awesome.

So anyway I have awesome friends who took care of me in my time of need and darkness (Ian and Rosa I love you guys), I get to move, and life is good.

Not much else going on so I guess this post is a bit boring, the weather is nice, I'm heading to the walking street for some shopping and Taiwanese street food and life is good.

Ciao

Recent quotables..and some old ones too

2008-09-23T13:27:00.002+08:00

So Rosa and I have been collecting quotes on our facebook group I've partied with Rosa and Elizabeth and My Liver Survived (Join it now!) Anyway some of them are pretty good so I am adding them here along with some more recent jabs. I am leaving these anonomous to protect the drunk ass people who said them (mainly me), but you get the point.

"If you think firecrotch is bad you should see a Santa Beard Bush"

A: "Dude we are seriously going to rape the bakery tomorrow...so much goodness"
B: "Mmmmm...rape"

"You my friend are going to hell...didn't you ever watch sesame street as a kid? 10 years from now you'll be in a refrigerator box under a bridge, smelling of feces and so hyped up on Adderall that you won't care. Children will laugh at you, husbands will shield their wives, and old people will shake their heads and mumble something about how back in their day these damn junkies were sent to nam or whatever it is they used to do with degenerates. Kudos girl, kudos, maybe you and Sarah can get like a duplex under a bridge or something, you know like the cardboard kind..."

"Well, I'm really glad that you decided to prioritize and buy the morning after pill instead of cigarettes"

"Seriously he has the most amazing penis, like it's big and thick, I have like a cavernous vagina now..."

A: What is wrong with xxx? He's cute.
B: Nothing, he just looks like a 12 year old boy that I want to take to Disney Land not the bedroom.

"Chinese people don't know shit about shit"

"I'm owning you, I'm owning you baby, say my name bitch whose your owner?!"

"That is just too obvious, how about we shorten it and call her Jizz?"

"The older I get the worse the hangovers and beer shits get too"

"It's nice to see they finally created an alternative to suicide, this is the musical equivilent to cutting"

Here's you 700 rmb..."I told you it was going to be an extra 100rmb for that thing with my tongue"

Delete

2008-09-23T10:31:00.004+08:00

I think I have been at my job too long. The thing about being a young person in China is that most people come here for a year or two. A gap between undergrad and grad school, a stop in around the world teaching. It has been my experience that few young westerners do as I have and stick with the same job for an extended period of time.

It's not that I don't like my job or whatever, in fact that in itself is completly inappropriate for me to discuss in this forum. The issue is more with adjusting the constantly changing office which results from foreigners constantly coming and going.

I have been cleaning up all the old shared files for my department, getting rid of all the personal stuff that old employees had and it is such a bizarre feeling to go through and delete like 10 people from the computer. Many of them are people I was once close to, people I spent time with, whatever, and looking at it now, I haven't stayed in touch with any of them. It seems silly that in a world where I spend more time communicating through gmail and facebook than I do actually speaking with people that I would have trouble staying in touch but when it comes down to it I guess I have just never been willing to make the effort.

Anyway I suppose I feel a bit guilty for this. I have spent a lot of time meeting new friends and saying good-bye to old ones and I suppose the assumption should be that through that experience I should have some grasp of how important it is to bridge the gaps of time and geography to keep people I care about in my life, but somehow it almost seems easier to let it go. It's nice to sometimes start over, new place, new people, a chance to reinvent myself whenever I please.

It's not the men in my life but the life in my men - Mae West

2008-09-22T17:02:00.003+08:00

So at the request of a few of my girlfriends, I am posting about the men in my life...or lack thereof.

I had a summer full of quick and not so smart decisions, met a lot of guys, had a lot of fun, played a lot of games and inevitably ended up hurting someone I care very much about. That being said I met some really amazing people and I am happy to have spent time getting to know them and enjoying their company.

Sooo the answer is yes, there is someone currently, and no I am not telling who. We have been friends for a while and I love spending time with him, so for now I am happy with that.

Probably not what my girls were expecting me to post, but I never kiss and tell (soberly)

Patentice is a virtue

2008-09-22T13:03:00.002+08:00

Well to follow up the bodily functions post, I feel that I must comment on some of the other things the Chinese do to piss me off. One of the worst is patience. There are a few places where the impatience of the Chinese really shines for example:

The train station. Every time I go here I end up wanting to drop kick a baby bird from an 18th story window, and I like birds. So first of all, when you purchase a train ticket here, you are given an assigned seat. There are no limitations on this...the seat is yours regardless of when you enter the train and sit down in it. That being said, the Chinese clearly subscribe the the belief that if you are by chance the last person to get on the train, you obviously will not reach your destination. They push and shove their way to the door, old people are falling, bags are flying, and people are still ruthlessly forcing their way to the front of the mob so that they can enter the train first and then sit in their assigned seat for 20 minutes while the rest of us get onto the train. Pointless stupidity at it's finest...

Honking, and driving like nutters. The Chinese should not be allowed near anything with wheels. That being said, a lot of them do drive. They drive with one hand and lay on the horn with another. People here honk incessantly and it is terrible. If your taxi stops to let you out, the 4 cars behind it will lay on their horns until the taxi moves again, true they could go around the taxi, or just wait 30 seconds, but that of course would be easy and polite...not exactly the Chinese way of operating.

The elevator. I have been in quite a few elevators in my time, and I have been in elevators all over the world. During my tenure as an elevator rider, I had never once used the door close button. I learned early on that the elevator doors do in fact close by themselves and that the elevator will then take you to your desired floor. The Chinese however, are not aware of this fact. When entering the elevator the door closed button is almost always pushed multiple times by multiple people. A bit pointless but ok, perhaps they are in a hurry. The problem of course is that others are in a hurry as well, a hurry to get on the elevator. It is an almost daily occurrence that someone gets slammed by the elevator doors because as they were trying to enter or exit, some over zealous button pusher decides to close the doors.

On a side note, if I see the bitch who closed me in the elevator last Wednesday I am holding that door open button for an hour...

There are a lot more, but you get the idea

Bodily Functions

2008-09-19T10:31:00.006+08:00

Ok so the rule of thumb with all bodily functions in China, whether it be spitting, pissing, shitting, etc. is that there are no rules. It is completely acceptable to just let it fly. Here's a basic breakdown of some of the grossy-gross.

Spitting - The Chinese love this, and it stems from some belief that the mucus is harmful to your body and should be expelled. I am told that is true, but there is a big difference between quietly spitting in a bathroom sink, and hacking up the lugie that ate Tokyo. The Chinese have perfected the lugie sound, you know the one that sound like you are trying to expel your stomach contents through your nasal passages? Seriously it's nasty. So once the sound is made and a large lump of mucus and whatnot is collected on the tongue, it's time for the spit. The Chinese are phenomenal spitters, these people achieve a speed and distance that most of us have only seen in movies. They will stop wherever they are, driving a cab, lobby of a 5 star hotel, walking through a restaurant or club, and let the lugie fly to the floor, wall, ATM keypad, etc. Brilliant!

Burping and Farting - Basically when these functions come into play the rule seems to be the louder and more foul smelling, the better. I am beginning to think there is some points system that we foreigners are not privy to. Oh, and of course if possible you should always burp or fart in a elevator, taxi, or other confined space so those around you can truly savor the aroma of your strict diet of bijou and cabbage. Yum.

Pissing and shitting - I have seen children piss and shit everywhere, at their parents command. I have seen tots drop trou in the middle of grocery stores, train stations, on the train, and in the shopping mall. Although I have seen the Chinese clean up after their dogs, I have yet to meet the local person who will follow their child with a pooper scooper. This of course means that on a daily basis one runs the risk of stepping in kiddie poo. It is not however just the children who let the excrement, oh no, cab drivers and bikers alike can constantly be seen relieving themselves on the road side as well. I suppose when you gotta go you gotta go.

Vomit - No night out in China is complete without witnessing the famous Chinese drunk vomit. The Chinese differ from Westerners greatly in this area. During my time in North America and Europe, I have done a lot of drinking, at a lot of drinking establishments. That's just how I roll, so anyway when in the course of such drinking I or someone in my party has become intoxicated to the point of vomiting, it is customary for someone to help the person home and into bed or next to the toilet, you know wherever. Now of course we will ridicule the shit out of them the next day, make them scrub the vomit stains, and possibly take out a sharpie so they wake up with a cock on their chin or some chola brows, but nevertheless, we westerners take care of our own. The Chinese however, will absolutely not sacrifice a single iota of their evening to care for your drunk ass. They will instead just bend their friend over the nearest trash can, sink, bush or floor and wait for the vomit to stop. Once this is accomplished they will prop said friend up on the bar stool and continue partying. This of course leads to clubs filled with passed out Chinese people lounging on chairs with crusting vomit on their hair and clothes. Hot!

Are we in hell yet?

2008-09-19T10:31:00.002+08:00

This week has gone by at a snail's pace. After a wild weekend in Shanghai it's impossible for me to get back into the daily grind of 12 hour work days, horrid heat and pollution, and Chinese annoyances. I have therefore decided that it is time for me to vent some of these annoyances, just so anyone bored enough to read this can sympathize with the daily frustration surrounding my life. So enjoy the next several posts, they offer a brief insight into just how fucked up this place and it's inhabitants can be.

Yep...she's a hooker

2008-09-12T13:33:00.002+08:00

So I was hanging out at a bar last weekend, which I do a lot. Anydrunk, I am at the bar with my friends, trying to rock a ridiculous hat that failed, drinking more than I should, saying random inappropriate and offensive things. So basically a usual Saturday night for me.
Well there are always hookers when we go out, I mean the bar street is literally crawling with loose, possibly infected women. The street is also crawling with balding, over-weight, middle-aged men at the height of their desperation, and so normally the two groups cancel one another out. This particular weekend however, the hookers seemed to vastly outnumber the eligible men. I'm not sure how that happened, maybe there was a hair club for men convention of Richard Simmons came to town. Anyway, the hookers started getting desperate and began working it on anyone within a 10 meter radius.
This of course ended with our table being surrounded by loose women and my friend's boyfriend being basically fondled like an alter boy going to confession. Afterwards I convinced one of the hookers to dance with me so I could take a snap, and then of course she showed me her panties. Now I have no issue with seeing panties, hell once or twice a month I even consider wearing them...but seriously on a hooker I just have a feeling that those panties are covering up a barrage of crab infestations, pus, and bumps that I want no part of. Keep that shit covered up!
So basically Suzhou is infested, hookers, mosquitoes, bats, it just gets worse and worse.

Snaps

2008-09-12T13:12:00.004+08:00

Some random shots of what I've been up to lately, dancing with prostitutes, watching Rosa de-bat the AC, taking loads of drunk snaps, and the always important getting Rosa to smoke.

Holy Bat Attack batman!

2008-09-05T16:18:00.002+08:00

So I have been slacking on posts this week, but hey I'm a busy girl..

Anyway the main attraction of the week was the bat attack. I had a busy Tuesday, went to work, tutored for 3 hours, and then met some friends for drinks. After drinks I headed home, put on my pjs and went to sleep.

Around 2 am I started healing a strange noise so I got out of bed, turned on the light and turned the AC off. As I looked at the AC I saw something small and brown poking in an out of the crevice between the AC and the wall. As I am watching a giant bat flies out of the AC and starts zipping around the room.

I was freaked and shut the bedroom door to trap it while I thought what to do.

Long story short I opened the balcony doors, let it into the living room and hid in my bathroom for hours until the stupid thing went away.

All in all a terrible night, I was so freaked out I couldn't sleep, and it was just a mess. I am seriously considering getting a big brave male roomie to deal with this kind of shit.

She don't want nobody near - Counting Crows

2008-09-01T15:03:00.002+08:00

She Don't Want Nobody Near lyrics



She don't want nobody near

But you can't get away from that

They appear and disappear

And they all get a string attached

Pretty soon they got you hanging on a line

Pretty soon they're singing one by one the same old rhyme

They say, "I'm alright, I just can't get home tonight."



She don't want nobody home

Cause it's a little too crowded then

But she don't wanna be alone

So they just keep pouring in

Pretty soon they her headed for the door

She comes home to find that they're not hanging round no more

She says, "I'm alright, you just can't get home tonight."

Don't you wonder what she looks like in the light?

She says, "I'm alright, I just can't get home tonight."



Pretty whitewashed lies

Endless alibis

And reasons that need cleaning every night

Half a world away

You can't wash away the stain of the deceiving

And the things that you cannot believe, and well...



She don't want no one around

Cause she don't want anybody to see

What she looks like when she's down

Cause that's a really sad place to be

Pretty soon she gets them crawling up the walls

Then she wonders why they beg her please to never call

She says, "I'm ok.  It's alright.Hey, look who's on TV

tonight."

She says, "I'm alright, I just can't get home tonight."

Don't you wonder why it's dark outside at night?

She says, "I'm alright, I just can't get home tonight."

Entertainment

2008-09-01T14:27:00.003+08:00

I've been listening to a lot of music lately, I always listen to a lot, but lately it's been like non-stop. I picked up James Blunts Lost Souls last night as well as the new untitled Nas. Both of them are awesome. I also finally downloaded the newish Lil Wayne and pretty much everything Toby Keith has ever made. I've been in a very country mood lately...weird.

I always end up with the old favorites though. I spent much of yesterday listening to Counting Crows, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, all the same music that I have always loved. As much as I try to get into all these new things there's something about these guys that just feels like home.

Since yesterday was my day to sit on the couch and turn off my phone I did a major DVD shopping trip as well. I picked up a few TV shows, season one of Psych and Californication. I don't know if anyone else is watching Californication but trust me it's fucking amazing. This guy is my idol. Buy it, now.

Picked up a bunch of movies as well, the new Adam Sandler, yet another shit copy of the Dark Knight, some porn, and a few others which I will watch this week. Should be a nice relaxing few days. The past weekend was a giant drunken haze. I need a break. Think I may take off to some remote village this weekend and get away from the Suzhou weekend for a bit.

Well back to work. Ciao

Buffet style

2008-09-01T12:44:00.002+08:00

The Chinese should never, ever be allowed near a buffet. I cannot stress this enough. It just doesn't work, it is a concept which this society has not yet adapted to.

So Saturday I go to the Kunshan beer festival. We find our table, get a beer and decide to head into the buffet for food. All I wanted was a pretzel. When I was living in Germany my host Mom would pack me a pretzel everyday before school and it was my favorite food ever at the time. Anyway..we head into the buffet and shock! All the food is gone. Seriously we had to scrape the sides of the pans. So as I am scraping the last of the mashed potatoes out of the side of a serving dish when I notice the Chinese man in front of me. He had 8 pretzels on his plate! 8! I start looking around and realize that the Chinese are eating on the buffet line, and just refilling their plates as food comes out. There were people holding two plates, dumping the serving dishes onto their plates, and waiting at the kitchen door to take food before it could be set down on the tables. Here I am scraping away for some crumbs and these people are on their 17th sausage!

It was truly disgusting to watch the gluttony that ensued. We sat down at our table and several people came and sat next to us, they had several plates each, one completely filled with these little apple pie squares like at least 40 of them. To increase my disgust, in the end no one can eat 40 squares of apple pie and so it went untouched as people left. I was appalled at the behavior and waste of the Chinese people. What a waste.

I am all for respecting cultural differences but this one is terrible, in a country where so much of the population is impoverished this type of behavior shows a complete lack of manners and social responsibility. Shame on those who perpetuate this kind of behavior.

The prospect of marriage

2008-08-28T12:59:00.003+08:00

I had a terrifying epiphany last night. It occurred to me that some day I may want to get married and have little Elizabeth's (I'm thinking a puppy for now, but maybe a baby). Well I was doing the math yesterday and I would want to have my kids before age 30, which is 6 years. However, I want to be married at least a year before having kids (I hear newlywed sex is hot), so that means I would want to be married by say 28. Well I would probably be engaged for a year, so that would be 27. Adding to that I would want to date the guy for at least a year, so 26, and I would probably know him before that...say 25? Now this time line is subject to change and all, but basically if I want to get married and have kids by the time I am 30 I would need to meet the dude like now....eeekkkk.

After deciphering this time line I have decided to grow old, move into a big house with a lot of cats and scare children on Halloween. It's not looking likely that Prince charming will be waltzing into my life in say the next year. I was kind of sad about this for a while, but then I realized that this predicament is really just a gateway to a life of meaningless one night stands, independence, and freedom. Not too bad for an old maid.

Being a grown up

2008-08-28T12:57:00.001+08:00

Late last night I ended up doing free margaritas at Friday's with Rosa and having a long talk about what's next after China. After talking with Rosa I feel more confused then I did before. When I was a kid I had so many answers when people asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. These days I can't seem to come up with even one acceptable answer. I mean of course I haven't lost my dream of becoming a porn star, Nobel prize winner, or trophy wife (in that order), but realistically I have no clue where I want to be in 5 years and that is rather scary.

What we did decide is that we are ready to move on, and we are starting to look at our options for next year. I'm thinking South America or Africa but knowing me, I will make a decision at the last minute and end up in Iceland or some other out of the way never before considered destination.

Oh shopping

2008-08-28T12:38:00.002+08:00

Last nights shopping expedition turned out to be a lot of fun, ended up with a slinky white shirt dress for the beer festival, a new bag that I am in love with and some funky teal hair extensions (Rosa's are blue). My absolute favorite purchase however, is a t-shirt I found in some out of the way boutique. The front has soft core porn pics of girls and says sexy girl and on the back it says "We took our clothes off and I climbed on top, when does it start to feel good because I have a headache already" or something along those lines. I love China.

Happy Daze

2008-08-27T13:36:00.002+08:00

So I have absolutely exciting news and I have been just elated since last night because of it. My Grandmother has been battling Leukemia for several months now, and she was informed this week that it is in fact in remission and she will be able to cease chemo treatments. I could not be happier for her and my family and I am grateful for her recovery and health.

So with that being said today I am planning a bit of a celebration. I have no teaching this evening, so Rosa and I are taking off a bit early for an afternoon of fun. The plan is to start the afternoon with a couple cold cans of chardonnay..oh that's right, we know it comes in a bottle but classy broads like us prefer our wine carbonated and from a can for 3 quai a pop.

After we get good and wined up, we will be heading to my house for a bit of green smoke and then off to the outlet malls to buy something fabulous to wear to Saturday's beer festival. Should be a fun afternoon. The last time we did this, we ended up walking down Guan Xian Jie with a bottle of wine, screaming obscenities and shotgunning beers in front of a temple. We are so classy.

Ciao

Shanghai weekend

2008-08-25T22:59:00.003+08:00

Every time I go to Shanghai I spend the first half of the trip completely nostalgic. I think of all the amazing memories I made there, the people I met, the things I did, and I wonder why I ever left. Then as quickly as such thoughts appear I find myself spending a Sunday afternoon dreadfully hungover at the train station and cursing Shanghai as the 8th layer of hell.

Friday was amazing, Alex and I headed to Aaro's early afternoon and the three of us spent a few hours drinking beers and making grossly inappropriate conversation about pretty much everything. After that we headed to the game where we proceeded to get wasted and watch Brazil kick Belgium's ass. Very impressive. Friday of course ended with some drunken munchies at Burger King and all of us passing out.

Saturday was amazing, I have not been clubbing in Shanghai for so long. I had dinner with Sammy Davis Junior and then headed out with a few friends, ended up at C's, Muse, Sky, Carribean Club, and of course Windows. It was a good night, ended up staying up till like 10 in the morning catching up with friends.

Yesterday I chilled with Aaro and then came back on the train from hell. It was so crowded you couldn't move and I had a standing room ticket because I was too hung over to buy one from a ticketing office. To make matters worse some kid puked on me. Needless to say, not a good time at all.

Anyway I'm not sure if my wallet or my liver need to move back to Shanghai, but I have decided that I do need to spend more time there. I miss all my friends there and I think it makes me less depressed about Suzhou to get away from this place every once in a while.

Well this weekend I'm in Kunshan, but I am thinking the weekend after might need a little Shanghai madness...

Ciao

Bizarre things from the weekend

2008-08-24T18:22:00.003+08:00

1. I saw a girl in a black shirt with sparkley writing, the shirt said
Atheism
Communism
and
Free Love

2. When traveling through the city in a taxi today there was a shop on fire and the fire truck was parked on the road while the fireman hosed the blaze..my cab driver honked incessantly for the fire truck to move...it didn't.

3. A Chinese girl outside of Muse threw a fit and banged the hood of a Porsche before falling into the street, she was ok, but made an ass of herself for a good half hour before being dragged home by friends.

4. I saw a beautiful girl at Muse, she was standing at the bar, gorgeous hair, heels, dress, etc. She turned around and had one of those SARS masks on, you know the type of masks worn by nail technicians.

China's good qualities

2008-08-21T14:26:00.003+08:00

I have been rather down on China recently, the pollution, the Olympics headache, the zillion people that squish into the office elevator with me every morning. These things still annoy the shit out of me, don't get me wrong..but China has good points as well.

The more I think about it, the more things I would miss if I left this silly place, things like:

-Getting my hair did, I change my hairstyle all the time here and it costs me like nothing. I appreciate being able to throw in some extensions for a party, or change my hair color twice a week. I also greatly appreciate it that I can do this at 11 Pm, and someone is going to give me a massage while my hair is washed. If I was somewhere else, the hair styles would be expensive, the place would be closed by 8 and the only massage / hair washing combo I could look forward to would be during shower sex, and let's face it, washing my hair is not exactly a priority at that point.

- Cheap taxis everywhere - In case you don't know me and just happen to be creeping this (stalker) I'm a bit of a drinker. Adding to the problem is the fact that I am absolutely without a doubt the worst driver on the planet. Ask anyone who has ever been in a car with me, it's terrifying. Given these two factors I have come to the obvious conclusion that I should not in fact ever drive a car. It should be illegal and in some states it is. Therefore I have a deep love and admiration for the Chinese taxi drivers who cart me around the city, drive in circles when I can't remember where I live, and teach me tidbits of inappropriate Chinese just so they can laugh at me. Xie Xie Shi Fu, wo ai ni.

- Blinging when I want too, wearing leggings with t shirts, mixing stripes and plaid, and basically getting to walk around dressed up like a bad Halloween costume version of Madonna circa 1985. In China you can wear anything. Some of it is hideous, but it doesn't matter, I have never owned so many things with rhinestones, glitter, sequins, and a whole bunch of other extras that I can't even begin to describe. There is virtually no where else in the world where I can come to the office in sparkly leggings and a glittery t shirt and have people tell me how great my outfit is. I love it. I'm going to spread some of this rocking fashion to the States on my next trip home, it's going to be incredible.

- Street food. I hear foreigners talk about how they won't eat street food, and it's dirty, and unidentifiable, but to me that's where it draws it charm. There is something appealing about the small dirty carts, covered in oil and coals, the milk, egg, and meat ingredients sitting out in the sun. Somehow with all of that they still manage to make some amazing food. The egg pancake thing, lo mein, the deep fried potato and veggie things, all amazing. As for the cleanliness issue, thousands of Chinese people eat this stuff every day and are perfectly healthy, so I think it is fine for me as well. That and the only food poisoning I have ever had in China was from KFC...seriously one chicken burger equals 3 days of hospitalization...dirty motherfuckers.

Chinese weather

2008-08-20T13:01:00.003+08:00

What in the bloody hell is happening in Suzhou?

The city has become opaque with pollution, I can't even describe it. I work on the 18th floor of a building, and normally I can see a large lake and the buildings on the other side. For the past week or so though I can't see the lake at all. Seriously..the pollution is that disgusting. Mixing the opaque pollution, dust, smog, etc, of the air and ninety degree temperatures, has created a place which is in many ways what I might have envisioned hell to be like. The pollution makes me feel terrible too. It's like there's a piece of cake suspended above my chest and some fat kid jumping up and down on me trying to reach it.

Other than that I suppose Suzhou is still Suzhou, crazy drivers, cheap food, alcohol consumption that would rival the most hardened sailor...some things never change.

I have nothing else to write about, this weather pisses me off.

DMX for President

2008-08-18T16:24:00.002+08:00

So this has been going around for a bit, but I still find it hilarious...here is an excerpt from DMX's interview with XXL magazine:

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

Right, exactly.
It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.
I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

Yeah, but the country is.
I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?
Nah, never.

But Bush pretty much…
You think Bush is making fuckin’ decisions?

He did, yeah, he fucked up the country.
He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely fuckin’ speak!
Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

Well Barack has a good chance of winning so that might be something.
Good for him, good for him.

I really do not feel the need to comment on this, anyone who is not a complete failure at life should be laughing their ass off. I need a hobby, this is too many fucking blog posts.

Ciao

Too many freaks, not enough circuses

2008-08-18T16:14:00.000+08:00

I would love to have a slapper, or maybe a midget slapper that I could carry around, in one of those baby backpack things, and anytime I was talking to a complete douche, my midget slapper baby could just pop up and smack the douche right outta whoever I was talking to.

Another day

2008-08-18T14:08:00.002+08:00

Another dollar another war another tower went hope where the homeless had their homes, so we pray to as many different Gods as there are flowers but we call religion our friends, we're so worried about saving our souls afraid that God will take his toll...

Wow okay so for some reason I have been listening to a lot of Jewel lately, that accompanied by my complete inability to remain focused on anything leads to me randomly writing song lyrics..sorry.

I think I have sympathy pains. I'm pretty sure that only the partners of pregnant people get those, but seriously I have them and they have nothing to do with munchkins. I think I have sympathy knee pain. I could of course just have knee pain, after a string of 7 operations, repeat injuries, and an almost inevitable replacement in my future, I may in fact just have pain. It's strange though that my knee has been doing okay for a few months now and then last week my Daddy had his knee replaced...about the same time mine started swelling and hurting, and it has been bad since. Strange coincidence... Anyway as I live in China and my knee was put into medical journals back in the day I am not exactly in the best place to get fixed up. I think I will figure out a mixture of acupuncture, Alieve, and booze to deal with it for now, or at least until I can get to Shanghai for a cortisone shot. Those things are like crack for non-ghetto people. I put off having one forever because I am terrified of needles and all, and it is painful as hell when they do it, but man if you don't feel like Superman on cocaine when it's over with.

Hopefully I just overworked it, with all the going out I did in the last week. I will take it easy this week and see if that helps (translation: I am planning to only go out 4 nights this week, be in bed by 3 am, and limit myself to one kind of alcohol per night) I mean I'm in pain, not dead.

The weekend was a little over the top, even for me. I don't quite know what I did after about midnight on Saturday, but I never want to do it again. I woke up Sunday to find that I had apparently fought with one of my close friends, ordered a lot of drinks that I did not drink, ran up a ridiculous bar tab, and for the first hour I was awake I thought I lost my purse. There are also conflicting reports of who I may have kissed, talked to, fought with, etc. All in all, a night I can't remember and frankly have no desire to.

That was kind of it for the weekend, hung out with friends, cleaned, got lectured in Chinese by my ayi who is bound and determined to see me add more fruit to my diet. She brought me a lot of apples and banannas, and then told me I should finish them before I see her again.

This week should go fast, I leave Friday morning for Shanghai to watch bronze medal football. I am pretty excited. Two of my best guy friends are going with me so I am sure it will be ridiculous.

Oh, and it is seriously too fucking hot in this country...I need a vacation pronto! It's in the 90's and not cooling down at all...ridiculous!

Ciao

The little things

2008-08-15T13:12:00.002+08:00

I had to pee today. It happens. So I went into the bathroom at work, but there was no toilet paper. I went to the bathroom by the restaurants and found some. This almost daily routine has made me begin to appreciate so many of the small things in life that I took for granted before coming to China. The conveniences of western society that I never paid much attention to until they were gone. I have therefore decided to pay tribute to these small but great items. So here they are in no particular order:

Potable tap water- I realize that some people go through life only consuming bottled water, but I am not one of those people. I like being able to go to the sink for a swallow of water to take an aspirin, or being able to make noodles, tea, etc, with water from a tap. Although it is cheap, constantly buying water gets annoying, as do those nights where I drink to much, come home after the stores close, and then realize I only have one small bottle of water at home.

Toilet paper - It is a rare occasion to find toilet paper provided anywhere in China. I have adjusted to carrying small tissue packets with me at all times, but it is still a hassle, and if you or someone in your group has an issue with the food that day..the results can be disastrous.

Construction laws - In The United States as well as other western countries, there are laws regarding when and where construction can be done. i.e. no one is allowed to jackhammer in the apartment above you at 6 am on a Saturday. Though this may not seem like a big deal to those who have not experienced it...trust me it is terrible. One of my first apartments in Suzhou had construction next door for months. Every weekend, all day, we would hear hammering, sawing, drilling, and workers yelling back and forth. Even in offices this is acceptable, try making a Visio document with a fucking jackhammer being used 10 feet above you...not cool.

Food - There are a lot of options in Suzhou regarding western foods, but somethings are just not available or not the same, a few greatly missed favorites are: cottage cheese, ranch dressing, avocados, Cheese-its, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, buffalo wing sauce (RedHot), and Hummus.

English Books - I like to read, and I hear it's a good thing to do. In Suzhou however, it is difficult to find a decent selection of affordable English books. My first year in China, I re-read all the classics, which can be purchased at most Chinese book stores. I read A Tale of Two Cities, Of Mice and Men, Oliver Twist, and so on. Wonderful books, classics for a reason, but now I have finished those and find my options dwindling. On occasions where I travel to Europe or America I am always sure to overload my suitcase home with a plethora of reading materials to keep me busy for a while.

Deodorant - I really can not stress enough how much I miss Western deodorant in China. The only women's deodorant is the roll on wet kind that leaves white paint looking streaks under your arms, and does nothing to prevent sweating. In summer temperatures which can push 100 degrees, deodorant just should be mandatory. The amazing thing is though, people here just plain don't wear it, though not for lack of needing to. Sweaty people smell bad, and they smell bad in China too, but it is much more acceptable. I am praying that this will change before I live through another summer here. The office is a stinky, stinky place when the sweltering August sun meets with the intense humidity of Suzhou.

Central heating and cooling - I come home yesterday sweaty and tired after hauling a bunch of shopping bags up the stairs to my apartment. I walked in and put on the living room air sat on the couch and fell asleep. When I awoke a while later I decided to go to bed in my bedroom, however I had to wait 20 minutes because the bedroom AC was not on and the room was stifling hot.

Well there are dozens more that I can think of, western make-up, tampons, hair dye made for western hair, but for now these are the big ones. I suppose in the end these little annoyances have made me appreciate all the things I do have. When I lived in America I so often took for granted life's little conveniences, I guess I won't be doing that anymore.

Ciao

Olympic Snaps

2008-08-13T13:13:00.004+08:00

The entrance of both teams

The crowd outside of Shanghai stadium before the game

Argentina vs. Australia

The Argentina fans, courtesy of China

John and I outside of the stadium

Strip Searches, cold beer, Chinese fans, and some good football

2008-08-11T10:05:00.003+08:00

Well I have survived my first Olympic event.

At 4 PM yesterday Shanghai experienced torrential rain. This is due to the fact that to avoid rain over the Beijing games the Chinese shot off rain dispersal rockets to keep Beijing dry. A good plan except that dispersal simply means the rain must relocate...say to another city hosting Olympic events in outdoor stadiums...you know, somewhere like Shanghai?

I met my friends and we rented umbrellas from the hotel before taking a ridiculously long taxi ride to Shanghai stadium. As we exited the cab and moved toward the police line surrounding the stadium, we were informed that our umbrella would be confiscated since they could be considered a weapon. So they confiscated our umbrellas, and we began our trek around the stadium to our entrance.

Drenched from head to toe, we entered security which was surprisingly quick and painless for Connie and I. John however, had a much harder time, as he was "randomly" strip searched. Seeing as we decided to leave our bombs, knives, liquor, prostitution receipts, and heroin stashes at home, the three of us were finally admitted without incident.

As we entered the stadium I began to feel like I was entering the pages of Where's Waldo. Only in this version the crowds are Chinese and Waldo is a foreigner. Not a fucking Lao Wei in sight. There were two small groups of foreign fans for both the Australian and Argentinian sides, and they had family passes on. Other than that I counted maybe 7 or 8 other foreigners while I was there.

I did have a chance to experience the Asian cheer squad however. In the cheap seats above us, were about 45 Chinese students, all in Argentina jerseys, with face paint and flags. One boy was the leader and lead the group in a variety of cheers, in which they shouted things like Ar-ge-ne-tine-a jia yo!! It was quite amusing. The remainder of the Chinese fans remained much as they had on camera during the opening ceremony, stern faced, and slightly bored.

But then, the Chinese cheered, they clapped, and cheered and screamed beyond all belief. I thought for sure I had somehow missed a goal in the 2nd half of the 0-0 game...but I was wrong. The cheering had nothing to do with the game at all. The people were cheering because...someone had started the wave. The wave continued until the game ended, never all together, usually the top balcony was about 1.5 times the speed of the lower, but still it continued.

Unfortunately I missed the following Ivory Coast - Serbia game, because I was unable to get a late train ticket and had to rush back. I am sure it was good as well.

For now, one Olympic event down and at least one more to go..

Ciao

Olympics Yao Ling Ling Ba

2008-08-08T16:23:00.003+08:00

Well it's finally here. 8-8-08 opening ceremony for the Beijing Olympics. I have never seen the Chinese so excited.

When I was in China back in 2002 the Olympic fever had already begun. I can remember souvenir shopping at the forbidden city and a street vendor trying to sell me a Beijing Olympics T-Shirt at the time.

The mood in China is one of immense pride and excitement, as I write this from my office few co-workers remain although the ceremony doesn't start for hours. I will of course end up doing the expat thing and have my bar table reserved in front of the big screen to watch the performances. I thought of just watching it at home, but then realized that I never hooked up my television.

The focus of the Olympics, from the China perspective at least, has been one of our Olympics, China's Olympics. Unlike past events where the focus has been one world and a sense of unity, China has managed to make the Olympics about China, and they have done so in a way that says we are a large enough country to handle such an event, we can host the most expensive Olympic ceremony in history, and we do not care if you like us, if you attend, or if you approve.

Amidst growing security issues and criticism of China for everything from pollution, to Tibet to human rights, the Chinese are bound and determine to have their Olympics, their way.

In the preceding months a mass exodus of foreigners has left the country due to stricter visa regulations. The Arab and African populations have shrunk significantly as individuals from those locations are often labeled terrorists or drug dealers. As the "questionable" population shrinks, one would think that a plethora of new foreigners would be arriving for the games, but due to "visa restrictions" many who planned to attend are now unable to enter the country.

This results in the good, the bad, and the funny. The good is, hotel and ticket prices have dropped dramatically, allowing more Chinese and foreigners already in the country to attend. The bad is of course that many people will be unable to come show their support for their countrymen and enjoy the games. Then we have the funny... due to the fact that so many people will not be attending, China has begun recruiting students, teaching them familiar slogans for various countries, giving them the appropriate jerseys, and tickets, and will place them in the crowd at events. This is of course necessary to show that the China Olympics are the best ever and will be filled with a large International crowd of happy people.

With all of this going on it is hard to say how things will go. There is of course the ever-lurking security issue, which China says it is prepared for. With worldwide attacks happening at increasing frequency and recent attacks in China, it is hard to say if China is truly prepared, or if it is even possible for them to be that way.

The next few weeks should be an interesting time, I will go to a football match in Shanghai Sunday and I am anxious to see how things go there, what the crowd is like, how security is run, and the reaction of other foreigners. The next week I will travel to Beijing to get the full China games experience.

Whatever happens, it will be a memorable time, with loads of pictures coming soon.

Ciao

Yiwu trip

2008-08-07T20:35:00.003+08:00

Just a few fun snaps from last weekends trip to Yiwu and JinHua.

Love and Sex in the far east

2008-08-07T14:15:00.007+08:00

"It's slim pickings here in Suzhou". A phrase which seems to resonate from the city's young urban expats.

It seems the longer I stay in China, the more of my friends get married, have babies, buy houses, etc. As much as I am thrilled for them, the thought of addressing any of the aforementioned topics makes me want to shake a puppy. It's just not where I am at this point in my life. Possibly it has to do with some insatiable wanderlust that I need to get out of my system, possibly I am just a fucked up person, and honestly those are probably both legitimate reasons. There is another reason as well though, Suzhou's slim pickings.

There are differences of course, differences between the choices for young and old, as well as between men and women. Through out Asia, expat men, particularly those over 30, will almost always hook up with a young twenty something Asian woman, and there seems to be a growing trend in Suzhou for young men to do so as well. On an almost monthly basis I hear of another 20 something expat male impregnating and marrying a Chinese woman. Whether this is their ideal situation is hard to tell of course, as many of these situations are often strongly influenced by the girl and her family who tend to stress that marriage to a Lao Wei is a good investment. Of course, far be it from me to judge what it is that makes others happy, and so best of luck to all those cross-cultural couples out there.

Expat women however, face a different dilemma entirely. It is extremely rare to find an expat woman with a Chinese man. I can speculate as to why this might be, Asian men are generally less attractive than their female counterparts, Western women are somewhat intimidating compared to the softer, more childlike Chinese girls, etc, etc.

Unfortunately for female expats in Suzhou, the population of eligible bachelors , is extremely sparse. From all the men combined you must subtract those who prefer Asians, are married, or are just plain socially retarded in some intolerable way.

This entire situation leads to one inevitable conclusion...everyone is fucking everyone.

Seriously, a city of thousands of expats, but after 6 months here you will have inevitably shared a partner with someone you know, there are simply not enough dateable men to go around. It's not that the people who come here are necessarily promiscuous, but the expat lifestyle is extremely conducive to that type of behavior. Most of the people here who are not married, or looking to get married, are also not looking for a serious relationship. Suzhou is a stop on the train tracks of life for them. When people come here, they do so for a year, or 5 or 10, and they are fully aware that those around them are in the same boat. With such constant change and a government which has been known to randomly remove people from the country based on criteria such as nationality, race, or religion, it is virtually impossible to fathom meeting someone in Suzhou that you plan to see yourself with long term.

The situation is not completely lacking in merit though, there is something to be said for the fast paced, date lots, commit little type of lifestyle.

Well whatever relationship, sex, love situations come out of the Suzhou expat lifestyle, hopefully the people involved make it work to their advantage and enjoy themselves, in the end that's all that really matters.

Stay slutty Suzhou
Ciao

2008-08-06T14:42:00.000+08:00

So I'm blogging now...

For someone as technologically challenged as me this is feeling like quite an accomplishment. I am after all the same girl who has put off buying an i pod for years simply because I fear setting up i tunes and figuring out how to get all my music onto one of those little things. That and to be perfectly honest there is just something so pretentious about Apple products, maybe it's the commercials...

Anyway now that I have this little thing, I am at a complete loss of words as to what I might want to write here, which given the level of astonishment I would face should someone actually read this dribble, is not too terrifying of a problem.

I suppose this will suffice as a start, I feel that perhaps I should incorporate something deeper such as my thoughts on life in China, the terrible state of the American political system and economy, social issues, philosophy, and of course celebrity gossip, but perhaps these things should be saved for later postings.

So if anyone out there is actually reading this, you may want to seriously consider a hobby or at least a library card, but I appreciate the attention nonetheless.

Ciao